Meme of Five

As first seen at Crunchy Granola

What were you doing five years ago?

Taking care of three 2-year olds, in the heart of one of my favorite stretches of motherhood so far (when the kids were 18-30 months old).  I had just finished my first semester of adjunct teaching, and was trying to wrap my mind around some pretty brutal teaching evaluations (which didn't bother my department chair one whit, I defensively add).  We were planning our second road-trip to the Midwest, and worrying about the kids' verbal skills: Wilder had just been evaluated as "on the cusp" of needing Speech Therapy services, again.

The kids' expressive language skills would explode during and after our road trip, and that was the end of that.

What are five things on your to-do list for today?

• Super-clean, dust, and vacuum my bedroom -- because we've had a number of tiny ticks crawling on us in our bed [eek] and I'm starting to fear that the dog, who sleeps pressed up against my side of the bed, was an incubator at some under-medicated point in the last month [wordless scream]
• Laundry, laundry, laundry
• Flesh out a section of my current dissertation work (approximately 2 pages), read two articles/chapters, and continue to putter at footnote/bibliography formatting
• 30 minutes of cardio: maybe a walk, maybe the elliptical
• Put up another 4 pints of strawberry jam -- we went berry picking first thing Saturday morning

What are five snacks you enjoy?

• Blueberries [Although I agree with Susan: almost any fruit will do]
• Smoked oysters
• Little Debbie Nutty Bars -- now Nutz over Chocolate Luna Bars
• Chocolate Hob Nobs
• Triscuits

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?

• Donate tens of millions of dollars, starting with these five organizations:
• UNICEF
• Lutheran World Relief
• Habitat for Humanity
• Human Rights Campaign
• American Indian College Fund
• Phone my local NPR station at the beginning of their spring, fall, and bonus fund raisers and offer them two choices: Either five thousand bucks, or as much money as they need to Shut The F*** Up and get back to regular programming immediately. [In the real world, I bet they can't allow themselves to be funded entirely by me, because they probably have to show a broad base of community support.  But oh -- the power of that fantasy in the middle of the damn campaigns....]
• Hire a full-time chef, house cleaner, and gardener, and pay them all a fortune plus benefits.
• Do all the work we currently have planned for the house (but not over the next ten years -- right now): build a screened porch; add dormer windows, a half bath, and a "mini bar" (sink, fridge, and microwave plus cabinetry) in the attic; and replace all the carpet on the second floor and the attic with hardwood.  Then move into a luxury hotel while builders re-do the master bathroom, kitchen, and entry/mudroom to the exact specifications of a brilliant and very expensive architect.  Or vice-versa.
• Give $10 million to each of our parents and siblings [$60 million in all], using whatever fancy trusts we can find to make the transactions tax-free for them.

A billion dollars is a vast, almost unimaginable amount of money -- and the term "a billionaire" implies some renewal of the funds from year to year, too.  If the question had been "win $500 million," my answers wouldn't change but the dollar amounts might have; the taxes alone would knock my spending power in half.  I wouldn't fund every NPR fundraiser, for starters.  And the sixth thing I would do with the money -- give obscenely noticeable amounts of money to the general scholarship funds of our four alma maters -- would be scaled down, too.

What are five of your bad habits?

• Yelling when I get tired, stressed, or frustrated
• Procrastination -- in particular the sort that starts with "I'm just going to quick check my e-mail.  Oh, and the blogs.  Hmmm, I wonder if Television without Pity has recapped Battlestar yet.  No?  Maybe Entertainment Weekly...."
• Mindless nibbling in the late afternoon
• Falling asleep in my clothes
• Picking at my face and scalp, especially when reading

What are five places where you have lived?

• Suburban Minnesota
• Coastal New South Wales
• Washington, DC
• Famous University Town, England
• Urban Northern California

I've lived in seven different geographic locations altogether.

What are five jobs you've had?

• Coffee shop waitress
• Retail sales
• Editorial assistant
• Temp receptionist / administrative assistant (multiple times during summer and winter vacations from 1989 to 1995, and then again in 1998 and 1999)
• Teaching Assistant

There are rules about tagging, but I have trouble with tags.  If you are looking for material, this is a fun meme.  [Kat with a K -- I promise I haven't forgotten your meme.  It just requires a lot more work!]

Comments

[Courtney]

When I was an undergrad (in history) at a different UC than the one I believe you attended, our dept chair told me that the main reason they discounted student TA evaluations was that the women's were always worse. Not that they were _all_ outright sexist, but across the board, students preferred male TAs. I've always been depressed by that, and wonder if I too subconsciously gave my female TAs low reviews.

Why the bar etc. in the attic?

[Emily]

Hey! Long time lurker. Right now I am at home caring for two year old twins. And I just got my first batch of adjunct teaching evaluations that are, to say the least, poorer than I had hoped. And we're preparing to have speech evaluations for the girls. It's encouraging that you appear to have survived a similar year (and are still interested in academia as a career).

[Susan]

So what kinds of activities do you want to be doing in your attic? Sounds like there's more story there.

I am also a big fan of the nutz over chocolate bars. And not a fan of the NPR drives.